Thanks to Skype, we were able to see and hear Morgan this morning!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"Man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But... he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great!" says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"What's the catch, Lord?"
"Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, just woman to woman."
Friday, January 30, 2009
Team Cambodia arrived in Phnom Penh roughly ten hours ago, and they are safe, happy, and exhausted.
Posted by Ali at 12:01 PM
If not, please take a moment and pray for this special little girl and her precious family.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Not because he wears anything that resembles the undergarments on the far right, but because we often debate about global warming.
Morgan and Team Cambodia are over the Pacific on their way to Taipei (Taiwan). They have successfully completed two legs of their trip (Columbus to Dallas to L.A.).
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
My sister and her team are on their first flight (one of four) to Cambodia. Please take a moment to pray for their safety as they travel to Dallas (and then to Los Angeles to Tei Pei to Phnom Penh).
Do you remember when I made this very important announcement?
Thank you for all of your prayers and support. God has been so faithful.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My good friend, Mary Kate, hosted a bunch of girls to watch the the Miss America pageant on Saturday night.
We had an absolute blast, and because Mary Kate is so creative, she came up with this crazy idea:
Miss Fabulous Vista Ridiculous Pageant
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'
After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now.'
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
*****Even Longer Pause*****
Friday, January 23, 2009
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends.
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!'
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ' Thanks,' he said.
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Thanks for this great award, Sandy!
The rules: Honorees are to list 10 honest things about themselves - and make it interesting, even if we have to dig deep! Second, we are to pass the award on 5 bloggers we feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap. (I'll try to list 10 honest things, but I won't nominate simply because, like I said yesterday, I'm so behind on my list of things to blog about!)
- I like rap music.
- In the last 48 hours, I've said a lot of really nasty things about a friend's husband. And I'm not sorry about what I've said.
- I am slightly jealous of my son who wears cellulite so well. He makes chubby thighs look cute.
- I love when my husband gets out of bed in the morning. It's then that I sprawl out and sleep the hardest. (Sorry, babe)
- I like fast food. And people that say, "Eww, fast food is so gross," annoy me.
- I had four very out-of-control years when I was in college. Though I made some horrible choices, I miss those days.
- I still wonder if Tom Cruise is really gay.
- I carry a lot of 'green' guilt. (For instance, I drive an SUV, and I wish I drove something more eco-friendly.)
- I am way cheaper than I like to admit.
- I am giddy when my husband goes hunting for the weekend and takes the dog. I begged for that dog, but when I can get a break from him, I'll take it!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Here are the rules that go along with this award:
1.Say one nice thing to a man in your life. (As if I don't do this already?! And it's a good thing that hubs never comments on this blog or any of my blogs, for that matter.)
2.List at least 6 ways you measure success in your life (or your blog). (I don't really know how to answer this. I imagine that as my children grow up, they will do a superb job of measuring my success or lack thereof.)
3. Assign 5 other blogs. (Can't do it. But if you want to participate, drop me a line and let me know! I'll tell you whether or not you measure up. Just kidding. You are awesome - whoever you are, and that is all that matters.)
(from Inauguration Day)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
How do I capture, in words, what a glorious day yesterday was?
Today is my mom's birthday!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I am taking the day off to enjoy and savor Inauguration Day.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Okay, so the other day we were at dinner with my family, and my sister said to me, "What if you started a blog to find me a boyfriend."
Saturday, January 17, 2009
According to the makers of this video, there is a place in Madison, Wisconsin that offers free bacon on Tuesdays. That has prompted these guys to make bacon videos. I don't understand them, but I'm going to post it because, well, because. I like the part when MIchelle is talking about bacon in the background. I love that lady. And I love bacon.
A friend shared this resource with me, and I am passing it on.
It’s that time again—for the entire month of January, TurboTax is once again answering your tax questions for free. The Customer Care Center is open from 7 to 7 each day, and you can submit one question to be answered (via a call back, at a time you select) for free.
That’s a $29.95 value, but really, you can’t place a value on not being audited.
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Sully" is a hero.
Had to share this one.
I'm only going to say this because I just watched A Time to Kill, but thank God that Snuggies don't come in white. That would be very, very, very bad. Very bad.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Another email forward.
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity . . .
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously an .
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .
These were sent to me as a forward (there were about a dozen of them; these are the ones that I find most true in my life right now).
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG . . .
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER.
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN, and I HAVE A GUN.
DO NOT START WITH ME.
YOU WILL NOT WIN.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
She drives me absolutely nutty. Ugh. I can't stand her.
This is 8 minutes long, but it's full of drama.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I'm warning you. This one is kind of hard to watch. But I couldn't help but laugh. I really couldn't.
The other day, on twitter, I was asked to name a famous person with whom I'd want to roller skate.
Monday, January 12, 2009
So I caught a bit of the Golden Globes last night, and I realized something: I didn't see one award-winning film in 2008. Seriously, there was not a film mentioned that I actually saw. Either I need to get out more, or I have crappy taste in movies.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Friends, family, and strangers,
So in all my hormonal glory, I decided to watch A Time to Kill.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Oh, heck. I've already offended enough people by my earlier post, why not continue the trend and call it a day?
I received the following commentary as a forward. Please search deep within your soul and find the humor in it.
In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count our blessings - because it proves we live in a nation where anything is possible.
Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of its forms and there is little doubt if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets. Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place when this man takes up residency in this house.
This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character".
There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be many times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly. But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the Lord above that I am an American and I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.
Oh, come on. Who'd you think I was talking about?
Believe it or not, I appreciate Sarah Palin. She gave a new face to the feminist movement, and I'm all about feminism. Not to mention, she's a hard-core working mom, and that rocks.
And I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I wish the media would leave her and her family alone, allowing them to go on with their lives in Alaska.
But why does she have to whine and play the exploitation card? Why does she have to play the class card? Governor Palin, when you joined the presidential ticket - no - when you made it your goal to be in a public office, you agreed to have your entire life scrutinized. You cannot run for one of the highest public offices in this world without becoming a target of the media and a few comedy skits.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I saw Savion in concert several years ago. It was a one-man show - one man, his tap shoes, and a flat surface. It was remarkable. This video is not from the concert that I attended, but this clip demonstrates how amazing Savion is. I heart him.
A friend sent me this. It is priceless.
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips on the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine all the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handle d squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers. . . and then there are educators.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Actually, my blog is fabulous, according to my dear friend, Sandy.
- Put the logo on your blog or post.
- Nominate at least 10 blogs which you think are fabulous.
- Be sure to link to your nominees within your post. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
- Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.
- List five addictions.
And here are five of my addictions:
2) My MacBook.
3) Diet Coke (I'm going through withdraw because I'm preggo!).
Friends, family, and strangers,
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Read all about my Couch Escapade at non-maternal instincts. It's a classic.
This is what I wanted to post:
Monday, January 5, 2009
This is a picture of my cousin - Jordan, my sister - Morgan, and me at Disneyland. We are three cute kids, I know.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
My parents were both born in January. They are now in their fifties, and birthdays don't mean much to them.
Saying a prayer for the Travolta family.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
I laughed through this entire video.
Posted by Ali at 6:30 AM
Friday, January 2, 2009
We are blessed in that while our son takes a pacifier, he can easily do without it. He usually uses it to soothe himself to sleep, and that's about it.
But I have heard the stories, and I've seen the four-year-olds sucking away, so I know that breaking kids of the pacifier habit can be quite a challenge.
But if only it were this easy:
I had to post this picture because I experienced it firsthand. When I had my ankle surgery three months ago, I was dressed in a gown just like this one. If you've ever been in one of these gowns, then you know it has two strings in the back to cover-up your backside. Um, that doesn't work. And sure enough, I was sitting in prep when I asked the nurse if I could use the restroom. She escorted me through the entire prep lounge (which was a giant room full of a dozen other patients), and I KNOW that every single one of those patients saw my entire bum walking into the restroom. How lovely! Hopefully I brought a chuckle to the many patients feeling anxious about their pending surgeries.