Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Now it's time to say goodbye . . .

. . . to all my company.


A-L-I

I'm gonna miss ya!

D-O-T-E-S

Okay, so in an attempt to avoid an awkward "goodbye," I came up with an even more awkward and borderline embarrassing idea - a dumb poem.

So what is this goodbye all about? You guessed it, folks, I'm shuttin' down alidotes.

I'm simply not feeling it anymore.

I don't have a grandiose explanation; all I know is that it's lost its luster, if there ever was any.

But I'm not going to close it completely in case I change my mind down the road.

For now, join me at Blessed Treehouse where I continue to blog about motherhood, family, and sometimes green living.

Love y'all.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Viva La Vida!





Check out this awesomeness!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Twitter and Parenting: Ouch!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I hope you all are enjoying the heat as much as this kid!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Big dog + Little baby = Picture Perfect

I can't claim this photo (it was forwarded to me), but as you can imagine, it makes me grin big.

Hammer Time

Friday, June 5, 2009

Dave & Jimmy - Funny Stuff

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Classifieds

POSITION: 

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
  • The rest of your life. 
  • Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily until someone needs $5. 
  • Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 
  • Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 
  • Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. 
  • Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 
  • Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 
  • Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. 
  • Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 
  • Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 
  • Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. 
  • Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. 
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. 
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this - You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. 

*THERE IS NO RETIREMENT - EVER.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Just for laughs

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old and wart-covered woman hobbled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the woman hobbled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.


Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, twenty-something bombshell beauty stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son, 'Go get your mother.'

Friday, May 29, 2009

Are women born this way?



Thanks to my friend, Sarah, for sharing!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

More redneck funnies

Time-Out

Yard Swing

Cellar

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

To make up for yesterday's terribly chauvinistic post

I thought these "words to live by" would do the trick!

If you missed yesterday's post, click here.

  1. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
  2. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. 
  3. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
  4. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. 
  5. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
  6. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are hard.
  7. If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna give you trouble.
  8. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Just another stupid beer commercial.

Because even I find ridiculous and chauvinistic beer advertising funny.

Friday, May 22, 2009

What are you doing to make a difference?



Thank you, Sara, for sharing.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Have you smiled yet today?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lunchtime?

The Woz Worm

Matt and I have watched Dancing With the Stars on-and-off all season. In fact, as I type this, I don't even know who won last night. We usually turned it on for mindless entertainment if there was nothing else to watch.

Last night was one of those nights. It just so happens that we caught Steve Wozinak's dance followed by his infamous "worm." I cannot tell you how hard I laughed when I saw this. No joke, I was snorting, peeing, and struggling to breathe (simultaneously) when I saw him attempt the worm. I don't think I have seen anything so funny in all my life.

Bless his heart.

And if you just want to see the worm and not the rest of the dance, fast-forward to minute 2:15.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

AWKWARD!

You must check out this site. You must.

AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

Monday, May 18, 2009

Oops.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Here's to hoping you aren't offended by redneck jokes.

Redneck Weenie Roast:


Redneck Wheelchair:


Redneck Thanksgiving:
(if Norman Rockwell were a Redneck)


Friday, May 15, 2009

Letters to God

A friend shared this link with me.

I tried to pick a favorite, but there are simply too many that make me smile and laugh out loud.

Jane's is not so much funny as it is sweet:

Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, Why don't you just keep the ones you got now?


She's got a point there.

Enjoy.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Old is Old, Not Dumb!

In honor of the two "older" folks who recently won Biggest Loser, I thought I'd share this email forward with you all.

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special effort of making fun of the older workmen. 

After a while, an older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man." the braggart replied. "Let's see you do it".

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.

Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, get in."

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

WIN ONE OF THESE:


By clicking HERE.

Go now! 

And you must admit, they are too cute for words.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mom's - You deserve it!

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
- Sophia Loren


The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
- Rajneesh


All mothers are working mothers.
- Unknown


God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.
- Unknown

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
- Chinese Proverb

Happy Mother's Day

The Mom Test

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.


'Why?' my daughter asked.

'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and it probably has germs all over it,' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me in total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly and told her, 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.'

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, and it was evident that she was pondering this new information.

'Oh, I get it!' she finally beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Dad.'

'Exacty', I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Another groundhog bites the dust.

My husband and I get such a kick out of this commercial.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

White boy can dance!

A friend forwarded this to me. It's positively awesome. 

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I think I'm back.

But don't hold your breath. 


My dear sister is suffering the real flu, as in Influenza A. She's poppin' Tamiflu and Ibuprofen like nobody's business. And considering I spent the entire weekend with her, it might only be a matter of time before I'm sick, for real.

So as I jump back on the alidotes caboose, I think the trick will be to let go of my perfectionist tendencies. I'm an all or nothin' kind of gal. And if I can't post two times daily, at 6am and 2pm precisely, than my heartbeat begins to thump harder, faster, stronger, and the anxiety sets it.

So in an effort to be less of a blog freak, I'm simply going to blog when I feel like it (That's sort of a lie. I'll let my ridiculous tendencies flourish over at Blessed Treeshouse).

And what's a better way to make a come back than by posting a political-ish picture and caption that will surely make a few of you roll your eyes and possibly stop following me? 

Now this is more like it. Stirrin' the pot. It's what I love!

(My lovely father forwarded this to me, and I just had to blog it.)



"I know, I know. Bill thought he was the President, too."

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Earth to Ali

I've been sick.



{swine flu}

Only kidding. I've been sick . . . of blogging.

So instead, I've been blogging . . . at Blessed Treehouse, and I've been working on a couple of other projects, and I've been lazy and tired and attempting to enjoy my last few months with only one child. 


I'll be back. In time. 

Until then . . . {smooches}

Friday, April 24, 2009

WIN A $1300 SLEEP NUMBER BED

Don't miss out on this opportunity to win a $1300 Sleep Number Bed. There are 4 easy ways to enter this contest. I want it SO badly! 

How to Make a Baby

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Beth Moore and the Hairbrush

For those of you who do not know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding Bible teacher, writer of Bible studies, and is a married mother of two daughters.

This is one of her experiences:

April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville, waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.

You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons, not the least of which is your ego.

I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones.

The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long, clean but strangely out of place on an old man.

I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport . . . an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere? There I sat; trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served up on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while, my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him.

Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.

I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing.

I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. 'Oh, no, God, please, no.' I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, 'Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up
here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!'

There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, 'Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane.' Then I heard it . . . 'I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.'

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No-brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, 'God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life.
What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am going to witness to this man.'

Again, as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. 'That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.'

I looked up at God and quipped, 'I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?'

God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: 'I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.' (2 Timothy 3:17)

I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, 'Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?'

He looked back at me and said, 'What did you say?'

'May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?'

To which he responded in volume ten, 'Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.'

At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, 'SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?' At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Long Locks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, 'If you really want to.'

Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, 'Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem . . . I don't have a hairbrush.'

'I have one in my bag,' he responded.

I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two
little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange, but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while.

The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's.

I slipped the brush back in the bag and went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knee and said, 'Sir, do you know my Jesus?'

He said, 'Yes, I do'

Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, 'I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior.' He said, 'You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for my bride.'

Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it.

Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane.. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft.

I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, 'That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?'

I said, 'Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!'

And we got to share.

I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted, you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual.
Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way . . . all because I didn't want people to think I was strange.
God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.

A standing O from Simon?!

Britian's Got Talent is where it's at! 

I want to put this kid in my pocket. He is precious.

And seriously, I love the British.

Once again, I couldn't embed this clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVU4IkzMNIo

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It's time for a laugh.

Keep it GREEN!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I miss you, Grandpa Hollywood

Ten years ago today, my Grandpa Hollywood passed away.


He was the only Grandpa I ever had, and his grandchildren were his life. (Here he is with his brood. He is in green. I am the one curtsying - it's my signature move.)


When we lived in Los Angeles and both my parents worked, my grandparents cared for us. 

He was my buddy. 

My Grandmother likes to tell the story of how he never liked for anyone to touch his hair. One day, she walked into the living room and found my sister and I giving Grandpa a makeover. We had bows and clips in his hair, and we were getting ready to make-up his face. He was simply sitting there - patiently and enjoyably. Because it was his granddaughters, he didn't mind one bit that we were playing with his hair. 

I'll never forget how my Grandpa smelled. He had very oily skin, and it gave off a slight odor. Not a bad odor - a man odor. And he drank beer. So often I would hug him and smell the oily skin, beer drinkin' combo. I can't wait to smell him again when I get to Heaven. (This picture was taken shortly after my family left L.A. to live in Dublin, Ohio. It broke my grandparents hearts.)


I miss you, Grandpa Hollywood. I love you. 

Monday, April 20, 2009

Columbine 10-year Anniversary. We will never forget.

This brings me to tears. I cannot even begin to imagine.

Where were you when you heard the devastating news?

(Embedding disabled by request)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ13CZ4Hekg

Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers

Author unknown


A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

Now, said the professor as the laughter subsided, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else - the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.


One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, I'm glad you asked.

The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Do You Believe In:

  1. Yourself? Most of the time. Motherhood has a funny way of making you think, "I can't do this anymore!"
  2. Miracles? Absolutely!
  3. Heaven? You betcha - Will I see you there?
  4. Santa Claus? I guess I am Santa now.
  5. Angels? Indeed.

Why Everyone Needs a Dog.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

5 questions. GO!

  1. Hugs or kisses? Hugs!
  2. Short or Tall? I'm short, and I'm getting used to it.
  3. Old or young? Ah, well, I'm somewhere in between - it's all relative.
  4. Tattoo or piercing? Definitely tattoo!
  5. Sweet or sour? Both. 

Susan Boyle in the HOUSE!

My apologies. Embedding has been disabled across the board!


Oh, and this made me cry. And I'm going to start being British now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Friday, April 17, 2009

More on Aging

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

Kittens Inspired by Kittens

My friend, Alyssa, posted this on her site. It is freakin' funny.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Great truths about growing old

  1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
  3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
  4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
  7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
*I can't quite appreciate all of these yet, but I certainly am getting there!

If this doesn't make you laugh, then you must not have a face.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Great Truths that adults have learned

  1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 
  2. Wrinkles don't hurt. 
  3. Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 
  4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 
  5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 
  6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

A USED child's nursery

We embraced USED in my son's nursery! Check it out.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Love to Maddie

Sweet Maddie Spohr will be celebrated and honored today amidst a purple glow.

Love and prayers to her grieving friends and family, especially her mother, who will be speaking at Maddie's funeral today.

9 great truths that children have learned:

  1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 
  2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 
  3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 
  4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 
  5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 
  6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 
  7. Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time. 
  8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 
  9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Yo, Pirates: Don't Mess with The Navy Seals!

"Easter" might be over . . .

. . . but this funny and touching clip of Steve Harvey "introducing" Jesus reminds me that we should celebrate Easter everyday.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Keester!

Bunny Beats

Click here for a special Easter wish!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Thank you, Jesus, for Yanni.


You might remember that I went to Blissdom back in February. 

Remember how I told you that I fell in love - with Chris Mann, and the elevator #13 victims, and many fabulous bloggers, mothers, and writers? 

Well I was recently reminded of a couple of other individuals who stole my heart that weekend. And I have Yanni to thank.

Did I just say Yanni? Yes, I did. And by Yanni, did I mean the international, multi-platinum composer and recording artist? Oh yeah, that's who I meant.

So what the H am I talking about?

You see, Yanni recently released a brand new album, and in an effort to spread the word, he offered a sneak peak to the wonderful women of Blissdom. And by sneak peak, I really mean, hubba-hubba-thank-you-Jesus-for-Yanni.

Yanni's newest release, Yanni Voices, "pairs Yanni's inspired compositions with four extraordinary young talents." 

These four individuals not only have incredible voices, but they are way hot. Usually I hate people who look good and sound good. But not in this case. Blissdom was blessed with a special appearance from two of these artists, Nathan Pacheco and Ender Thomas. These two fine gentlemen are way too good-looking for words. And then they open their mouths and sing, phew, is anyone else getting warm? 

And to top it all off, Yanni and Team Beautiful are launching a Voices tour this month! It's absolutely scrumptious!

Listen to the album, and you will experience powerful instrumentals, explosive musical talent, brilliant vocals, and over-the-top energy (seriously, Yanni is a lil' firecracker).

See them live in concert, and not only will you be immersed in a vivid and emotional musical experience, but you will fall in love and forever hold Nathan and Ender in your heart. {swoon}

Friday, April 10, 2009

Richard Simmons on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

This is a clip of Richard Simmons' guest appearance on the hilarious show, Whose Line Is It Anyway?

I will warn you, it gets very racy. You have been warned. But it did air on ABC Family, for whatever that is worth.

Final thoughts on love.

A group of children were asked, 'What does love mean?'
Here are some of their answers:

Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.
Elaine, age 5

Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Chris, age 7

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
Mary Ann, age 4

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.
Lauren, age 4

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.

Karen, age 7

Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.
Mark, age 6

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
Jessica, age 8

And finally, author and lecturer, Leo Buscaglia, once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Madeline Alice Spohr: Heaven's newest angel

The blogging community was hit hard this week by a devastating loss.

Madeline Alice Spohr, the daughter of Mike and Heather Spohr (The Spohrs Are Multiplying), went to be with Jesus on Tuesday.


Maddie was 17 months old, and her death was completely unexpected. 

I came to know Heather when we were trapped in an elevator together at Blissdom (remember this?) 

I don't have words, but I would encourage you to consider donating to Maddie's March of Dimes team. You can donate here

We love you, sweet Maddie.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

More about love.

A group of children were asked, 'What does love mean?'
Here are some of their answers:

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mummy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.

Emily, age 8

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.

Bobby, age 7

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
Nikka, age 6

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.
Noelle, age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Tommy, age 6

During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.
Cindy, age 8

My mummy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Clare, age 6

What does LOVE mean?

My mom forwarded this to me.

A group of children were asked, 'What does love mean?'
Here are some of their answers:

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.

Rebecca, age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Billy, age 4

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Karl, age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Chrissie, age 6

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Terri, age 4

Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.
Danny, age 7

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Leg Huggers Giveaway!

Don't miss your chance to win a darling pair of Leg Huggers. And major props to my adorable niece for modeling these leg accessories so beautifully!

I'm a Guest Blogger!

My dear friend, Organizer Sandy, asked me to be a guest blogger!

Because she highlights genius ideas for organization, and because I highlight practical ways to live green, we joined forces, and I blogged about Green Organization!

Check it out, and let me know what you think.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Recycling plastics at Whole Foods

Do you recycle plastic? 


We are fortunate. Our city provides curbside recycling, and they take many plastics. Unfortunately, they do not take all plastics. In fact, there are many common plastics that are not conveniently picked up by many recycling programs.

Preserve, a company that makes plastic products using recycled plastics, is teaming up with Whole Foods to provide recycling of #5 plastic. #5 plastic is used to make plastic packaging including many yogurt containers. Unfortunately, #5 plastic is not often recycled by recycling programs. But through the Preserve and Whole Foods partnership, you can take your #5 plastics to Whole Foods for easy (and free) recycling.

Unfortunately, not all Whole Foods are yet participating. If that is the case in your area, PLEASE contact your local Whole Foods and ask that they participate in this wonderful program. 

As Preserve's tag line states: Nothing wasted, Everything gained.

I love the creativity!

Embedded video from CNN Video

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I love BOOB!

Check out my latest Boob review.

Much respect, Demi Moore

I get a lot of slack for tweeting and using words such as, "retweet," "twitter," "tweetdeck," and twitterverse." Many people just don't get why I use twitter.


But in never amazes me when God uses technology, even twitter, to reach people. 

Did you know that twitter played a crucial role in helping a woman who was contemplating suicide? 

Did you know that Demi Moore reached out to her nearly 400,000 twitter followers to help this same woman? 

I very much respect anyone who takes suicide seriously, and I am thanking God for the many good citizens who responded appropriately to help this hurting lady.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Now and Then

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are a few from the other day. And here are some more.


RIGHT NOW (It's 9:45pm on a Friday):
  1. Eating? Unfortunately nothing. I want ice cream. Graeter's. Chocolate chip.
  2. Drinking? I could use a glass of ice water. Or a milkshake. Graeter's. Chocolate chip.
  3. I'm about to? Sleep for days. I only wish. Unfortunately I have to get up in the morning and finish cleaning house before our showing. Blegh.
  4. Listening to? My husband start laundry. He does his own laundry. I like him for that.
  5. Waiting for? Someone to rub my shoulders. It's been one of those days.
YOUR FUTURE :
  1. Want kids? Well, what happens if I answer 'No'?
  2. Want to get married? Again, what if I answer 'No'?
  3. Careers in mind? A wife and mother {wink}

Pimp This Bum

Have you judged the homeless? I have.

Please watch this video. It might give you a different perspective on homelessness in America.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Did she just hug the Queen???

Who would have thought that a simple gesture would be so analyzed?

And I must know, would you hug the Queen?

Handy Manny, I love you.

You already know that I LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba on Noggin (Nick Jr.), but I have a favorite Disney show as well: Handy Manny. Seriously, I love that show. 


And I recently discovered that the main character, Manny, is voiced by Wilder Valderrama (aka "Fez" of That '70s Show)!

Does anyone else find that really cool? 

And in case you like looking at Wilmer want to hear what Wilmer has to say about Manny, here is a quick interview with him. 

Oh, and who else thinks that Manny and Kelly are bow-chicka-bow-bow in the storage room?


Thursday, April 2, 2009

Because I'm a cheater.

One of my favorite things about cheating and republishing posts from my past (other than I'm able to squeeze out a post without actually writing one), is that I revisit memories and pictures of my son. These pics, of him at 6 months-ish, remind me of his once chubby shoulders and nearly hairless head. Now we are contemplating his first haircut (oh, the horror!), though he has yet to lose that nice roll of fat around his ankles. I kiss that fat roll daily!

A few of my firsts.

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are yesterday's. And here are some more.


FIRSTS
  1. First surgery? Minus having my wisdom teeth pulled when I was seventeen, I have had only two other surgeries, both of which were last year (a c-section to remove a small child from my uterus, and later that fall, they sliced my leg open to insert a crap-load of metal - I broke my leg and ankle in two places when I slipped while jogging - that's what happens when you grow small children inside of you - you try to jog and lose weight and then you fall and break bones).
  2. First piercing? I think my ears were pierced when I was four or something like that. Heck if I remember.
  3. First tattoo? I was 19. I got angle wings tattooed on my lower back.
  4. First Best Friend? Allison Kelley. She was really tall and really blond. I'm short and not blond.
  5. First sport you joined? I was a dancer, thank you very much.
  6. First pet? A chicken. I killed it. I'm not lying.
  7. First vacation remembered? My parents lived off of food stamps when I was born. We didn't do vacations. We camped.
  8. First cd? Simon & Garfunkle. I was in the sixth grade. I've always had a great taste in music.
  9. First crush? I think his name was Russ. I was in second grade, and I hounded him on the playground. I wanted to kiss him bad.
  10. First alcohol drink? Red Dog beer. I was in tenth grade.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my sweet, sweet boy.

More stupid stuff about me.

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are yesterday's. And here some more.

  1. What's your real name? Alison
  2. What's your middle name? Kay
  3. Zodiac sign? Pisces, even though I think the Zodiac is a bunch of hog wash.
  4. Do you have a crush on someone? I'm totally boy crazy. Right now I'm crushin' on Jesse James of West Coast Choppers (married to Sandra Bullock). I don't think he's super cute, but I absolutely adore him on Celebrity Apprentice.
  5. Piercings? I have my ears pierced (a total of three piercings), but I haven't worn earrings since my wedding day. I have a crazy amount of skin allergies and problems, so I avoid most all jewelry. 
  6. Tattoos? Two. I love tattoos.

From the mind of Ben Stein

For many years Ben Stein has written a biweekly column called "Monday Night At Morton's." (Morton's is a famous chain of Steakhouses known to be frequented by movie stars and famous people.) Now, Ben is terminating the column to move on to other things in his life. Reading his final column is worth a few minutes of your time.

Ben Stein's Last Column . . .

How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?

As I begin to write this, I "slug" it, as we writers say, which means I put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is "eonlineFINAL," and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.

It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars. I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.

Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.

How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails.

They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.

A real star is the US soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.

A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the US soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.

The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.

We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.

I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.

There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament . . . the policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.

Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a real hero.

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin . . . or Martin Mull or Fred Willard - or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.

But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.

This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.

Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.

By Ben Stein

Monday, March 30, 2009

My son's first birthday party!

Here is a sneak peak of our first birthday party adventures.

More about me. I'm over it. Are you?

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are yesterday's. And here are five for today.

  1. Name something you CANNOT wait for? A weekend all to myself. Only God knows if and when that will ever happen.
  2. Last time you saw your father? Today. He's a mess.
  3. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I wish my legs didn't grow hair.
  4. What are you doing right now? Watching Celebrity Apprentice with my man.
  5. What's getting on your nerves right now? My never-ending to-do list.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Randoms.

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are a few from Thursday. And here are six for today.

  1. How many kids do you want to have? I want to be the 'little ole' lady who lived in a shoe.'
  2. Do you have any pets? A precious yet ornery yellow lab
  3. Do you want to change your name? Like legally? Um, no.
  4. What did you do for your last birthday? Dinner with the fam
  5. What time did you wake up today? 6:45am
  6. What were you doing at midnight last night? Dreaming about hosting a kick-butt first birthday party for my son

Flasher

Saturday, March 28, 2009

My son's first birthday party was a success!

And now I'm kicking back with my feet up. 


I'll be back to the ole' blogging grind soon.

In the meantime, {deep sigh} . . .

Friday, March 27, 2009

Your daily dose of smile.

I don't have an affinity for squirrels, but these pictures make me want to cuddle up with one!



And this is why I spent the morning crying.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

More randoms

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are yesterday's five. And here are six for today.

HAVE YOU EVER:

  1. Dated someone twice? Maybe in middle school. I know I definitely started dating someone in first period only for it to end in fourth period. Who knows, I could have been dating him again by sixth period.
  2. Been cheated on? Who knows? Maybe that's why I was dumped in fourth period. He was probably cheating on me during third period.
  3. Kissed someone and regretted it? A couple of times when my husband ate onions.
  4. Lost someone special? Yes. My most significant loss has been my grandfather.
  5. Been depressed? Daily. I'm a hormonal, pregnant mess.
  6. Been drunk? Most of college.

Dorky DippinChunks

What's your new name? Do share!


1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdl e

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g= pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toe s
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A long list of randoms

A friend tagged me on facebook.

I'm to answer a list of 100 random questions. That's too many for me to even think about, so I'll break them down.

Here are five, for today.

Don't hesitate to answer them for yourself! I'd love to hear your responses.

  1. Last beverage: Diet Coke
  2. Last phone call: My sister - no surprise there
  3. Last text message: Sent - to my sister (about Mom's cooking; to protect the innocent, I'll leave out the details); Received - A DM from twitter (only those who tweet will know what that means)
  4. Last song you listened to: "You Raise Me Up" on 104.9, The River
  5. Last time you cried: Crap, I can't remember. I almost cried yesterday when our basement pipe busted, but instead I just yelled at my husband. He's a good man. He takes a lot of hormonal pregnancy beatings.

Just another reason why I love Michelle Obama

Can you put your politics aside to appreciate First Lady Michelle Obama's example of green living


I heart all things green. I heart gardens. I heart Michelle Obama.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Excuse my french, but what the hell is wrong with Nadya Suleman?

The latest from the octo-mom is that she has fired the FREE, around-the-clock, in-home nursing service, Angels in Waiting. 


She's accused them of spying on her to report to child welfare authorities. 

By firing them she might as well turn herself into the authorities herself. There is NO way she can properly care for those 14 beautiful children. Angels in Waiting is doing her a huge favor, and more importantly, they are rescuing those precious babies from a life of chaos and possible neglect.

Before I get out of hand, I need to stop running my mouth and pray for those precious children. 

Don't step on a duck!

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven:Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks.

But one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I'm not posting today.

Because I don't feel like it.

Don't worry; you'll get over it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Double TKO

R-word Campaign - What are your thoughts?

This is part of a new campaign being launched by The Special Olympics. I'd love to know your first reactions and thoughts on this campaign.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Don't Waste Your Life.

When you think of hip-hop and rap, what images come to mind? Be honest.

If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE hip-hop and rap. I'm a white girl, mother, and suburbanite, but I can't get enough 2Pac, Wyclef, and Tribe (and the list goes on and on and on).

Yet I realize that rap is often associated with violence, sexual exploitation, and misogyny.

But when I lived in Louisiana, I was introduced to a group of outstanding young hip-hop artists who deliver a very different message. They deliver God's message. Through their beats and rhythms and witty lyrics, they reach out to young men and women who need to hear a different story than what they are used to hearing in their hoods and broken homes.

Lecrae and a few other select artists are using their unbelievable talent to spread the message of truth in their Don't Waste Your Life tour.

Here is one of their commercials. I'm praying that we can make it work for them to make an appearance in Central Ohio. Our youth could really benefit from it.

Does this offend you?

Do you find this commercial offensive? Some do. As you might imagine, I don't.

Sure, it's bold, but ain't it spot on?!

And how else might they market their product? Because let's face it, women do use razors for this sort of thing.

And when it comes time for my unborn child's arrival, I just might be investing in a Schick Quattro TrimStyle.